Jamming Wellygeddon – Part 2
Brian and Blair hit up Wellington's biggest geek expo
Thanks to Neon, Blair and Brian checked out Armageddon in Wellington over the long weekend. Brian was a bit confused by the whole experience.
From the start, I had a Sixth Sense about the whole thing. That may have been because of the lack of spaceship branding, little to no reference to asteroids, or because of the HP Omen setup. I guess that kind of computer could possibly train astronauts to destroy a celestial threat to the planet, but we just used it to play Overwatch. And win, just FYI; take that, random small children and slightly taller children-at-heart.
The Bruce Willis lookalike was just awful. For one thing, he didn’t look at all like the B-Man, and when I tried to talk to him about upcoming projects, he kept pretending he didn’t know what I was talking about, and did I want the hot dog or not. I mean, I did want the hot dog, but despite the Fast Food Nation we live in I was taken aback.
Good hot dog, though.
The good people at Neon were also confused. I spun their wheel to win a sick Willismeister prize, but instead got a Spiderman shirt and a free month of Neon. I would also like to express my sincere apologies to the staff; I may have been slightly belligerent when I found out that, despite a decent catalogue, Neon don’t offer Armageddon to stream. I just saw Red.
While I did think I saw Ben Affleck at one point, it turned out to be Jeremy Renner from something called The Avengers, which sounds like a rip-off of the Armageddon formula. An elite team joining together to save the world? Yeah, nice try, Bruce and the gang did it twenty years ago. I also saw Matt Ryan, TV’s Constantine, who seemed to like my coat and I bet he thinks Armageddon is a classic of cinema too, he’s a cool guy.
I was running around like 12 Monkeys until a very helpful lady named Jessica told me that this was actually a general convention, rather than an Armageddon themed expo. Despite my obvious confusion and disappointment, she gave me an awkward hug and started poking at my lips, which definitely confused me more. However, compared to the entire experience, this was probably a high point.
Overall, Wellygeddon went The Whole Nine Yards, even if it wasn’t quite what I expected. My love for Bruce Willis remains Unbreakable, and Armageddon remains both Michael Bay’s best film, and Wellington’s best geekdom expo.
Read Blair’s thoughts here.